2000-12-19T11:48:00.000-08:00

so i was online at like 12-something last night after a great time with ryan. and then mary signed on. i was bored. so i looked to see if she had a profile (she only has one when she's in town.) yah she's in town. so it got me wondering. does ryan not want me to go to the armadillo on friday because mary will be there, along with korey and tera? it upset me at first. but then i realized i had no basis to be upset. i have wanted to talk to mary since that night when everything happened. i think that if just she and i hung out for a while, she would realize that i truly do make ryan happy. and she and i could even be *gasp* friends. for real. i've wanted that for a while. tera, too. it sucks though. i get this vibe from her that she only tolerates me because i'm ryan's girlfriend. i hate that. i hate the fact that i've been judged hardcore. oh well. i'm going to talk to him about it though. i'm leaving here at 3 and taking highway 6 all the way to alvin unless sarah calls, in which case i'll hang with her and go to baybrook or something. i'm bummed. i would really really really like mary's friendship. so i'll work for it. blah.

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